Cry, baby, cry

"Keep your shoulders square and your elbow up. Put your chin on your left shoulder, watch the ball all the way until it hits the bat, and follow through until your chin is on your right shoulder." These are instructions I look forward to giving my son when he's old enough to play baseball. But for now, it's more like "Grab that nipple. Claim it. Own it. Suck it hard." All in good time, I suppose.

We still have days of frantic feeding. Jackson screams for food, then attacks the nipple with his face in between screams. He will finally latch on, eat for five minutes, then spit up all over himself and whatever else is in close vicinity. But these days are now intermittent with good days of successful feedings, long sleeps and what we like to call "Happy Jack." We love Happy Jack. We love Grumpy Gus, Gassy Gus, Fussy Gus and "Real Mad". But we reeeeeally love Happy Jack. Happy Jack looks around, makes funny faces and noises less than five decibels loud. Happy Jack is generally a very happy baby. Hence the name.

We decided to take our chances on having a Happy Jack afternoon and the three of us went to the Crybaby Matinee at the Angelica Theatre. These special showings twice a week allow "cinema deprived" parents to take their little ones to the movies and not worry about disturbing the other people in the theatre with their crying baby. The lights are dimmed, a changing table is provided, and the sound is turned down. I was dying to get to the movie theatre, but I have to say I was a little apprehensive. For one, how low is the sound turned down? If a baby cries, will I be able to hear the movie? And two, I get annoyed when people eat popcorn too close to me. A room full of crying babies would spell certain disaster. And if a baby cries, do the parents take it outside, or just let them wail? These were all questions running through my mind. But, it was worth a shot.

We got there about half an hour early. Alana fed Jackson and he went to sleep. So far, so good. Two hour movie. Two hour sleep between feedings. Things were looking good. A handful of couples filed in with their infants. But so did a handful of elderly people. Which I found inquisitively amusing. I don't think it was a retirement home field trip that just happened to be for this movie at this time because they all came sporadically over the span of the half hour we were sitting there. Yet, there they were. Was it because they wouldn't be yelled at for talking through the entire movie? "If a baby can cry, I can talk." Or maybe they just felt akin to the babies because they all wore diapers. In any case, the movie started.

My first apprehension was immediately calmed: The sound was not turned down at all. I guess the booth guy didn't get the memo. Which is fine with me. Jackson slept through the entire Cowboys/Cardinals game that went into overtime just a few feet away from six screaming guys. (My thoughts on the Cowboys right now is entirely different blog. One that I choose not to start.) My second apprehension was too relieved when parents graciously took their baby in the hall when it began to scream. I think the unwritten rule of the Crybaby Matinee is a baby can fuss and stay in the theatre. But wailing, and out it goes. Perfect.

Now, my other worry, one that I didn't mention before because it's one I'd rather not think about facing, went along with not being able to hear because of all the screaming babies. What if I couldn't hear because MY baby was the one doing the screaming? About halfway through the film, this happened. Luckily, the unwritten rule of the Crybaby Matinee saved everyone from a completely ruined movie experience. But unluckily, Alana spent the better part of the film outside. It was just one of those Grumpy Gus days. He woke up hungry before it was time to eat. Alana kept him in the hall or lobby... I'm not sure, I stayed in my seat... until it was time for him to eat. She came back in to feed him and finishing watching the movie, but his frantic face attacks and belching screams broke the unwritten rule in half. In somewhat of a panic herself, she immediately took him back out of the theatre, her shirt halfway up, and into a bathroom stall where she stood and fed him. His screams didn't fade, so she took him outside until the movie was over. She didn't want to leave because she thought at least one of us should see the movie. God bless this woman.

We grabbed some Chick-Fil-A drive-through and went home. Needless to say, we will not be returning to the Crybaby Matinee any time soon. But isn't this the most precious baby you've ever seen???